Friday, June 10, 2016

HINDU RELIGIOUS WEDDING SHOULD FOLLOW SIMPLICITY AND SPIRITUALITY OF SEETAA-KALYAANAM



Hindu Religious Wedding should follow simplicity and Spirituality of Seetaa-Rama kalyaanam
(Compilation for a Discourse at Sri Ganesha Temple, Nashville, TN, June 2016)
Ramayana reveals the poet in Valmiki more than the Spiritual Sage in him when we read through this great Epic. I often wonder why he had been very short, crisp and to the point as to the description of Rama and Sita and his three bother’s weddings though all divines were present watching this great premier event on earth from heavens and beat their kettle-drums with loud noise and brought forth the rain of flowers when Rama held the hands of Sita lead by Janaka.  There was no “gatti-melam” during this wedding as no Mangalyam was tied to the neck of Sita which is the focal point in all South Indian weddings that has caught the traditions of North also among migrant Hindus Overseas. Tying the Mangalyam rope with three knots around bride’s neck by bridegroom and slipping rings around each other’s finger are considered most important part of Hindu sacred matrimony among the long list of wedding rituals loaded with Veda mantras. Otherwise a long narrative wherein Valmiki has also included Aditya Hridaya, he is silent on Veda mantras employed in Rama and his brothers’ wedding ceremony about which just mention is made. Smaavartana ritual, Naandi Shraddha ritual and Paalikaa worship are just mentioned without details. I believe the choice was left to senior sages, Vasishtha and Viswamitra. In all probability Rama’s life was foreseen and Ramayana was written even before the birth of Rama by divine vision which proved true later!  Kamban in his Tamil Ramayana  though more elaborate and has even excelled Valmiki in describing  the divine wedding  has not come out with  details on   host of rituals missing in Rama’s wedding but  in vogue today to-day that are  successfully promoted by astrologers and Pundits. However Kamban includes some popular rituals that are popular with Tamils in vogue today as described in the Appendix. He has spent more time on the bridegroom's  dress and preparation than Seetaa as if he is Bridegroom's Party. He also mentions of Lord Ranganatha. The absence of Thali and Gattimelam shows Mangalyadhaaranam is a recent introduction  as our astrologer expert says. Valmiki does not mention about Arundhai and Dhruva stars unlike Kamban as they were all bodily present watching the divine wedding and hence superfluous! Modern pundits have not failed to compose suitable sacred hymn for the occasion if not mantra like  the peak Mangalya Dharana ritual. Hindu scriptures have also left the choice to the parents of the children to go into the design of Mangalyam.  As I have suggested on the subject in my other discourse, precious stone studded Swastika pendant is the most ideal to suit all inter-faith weddings as well as traditions conducted as Hindu Braahma Marriage Sacrament, which is also most sacred symbol for Hindus.
Raama got married to Seetaa on Panguni Uttiram Day. The moon is in the asterism "uttiram" (Beta Leonis) on Panguni Uttiram day from which the festival derives its name. This day is also known as Kalyana Vrata day (wedding vow) in Tamil Nadu, since Goddess Parvathi married Lord Shiva on this day after observing severe penance. There are three famous temples of Devi (Goddess) in India--The Visaalakshi temple in Vaaranaasi (Kasi), The Meenakshi temple in Madurai, and the Kamaakshi temple in Kanchipuram. The wedding ceremony of Lord Sundareswara to  Meenakshi and the wedding of Lord Ekaambareswara to Kaamakshi is said to have taken place on this day and therefore this divine wedding is re-enacted with all grandeur and tradition at those temples. This divine wedding grants the power of Kalyana vrata on this day. It is believed that if an unmarried woman takes up this Vrata (vow) with associated vows and penance, and observes it whole heartedly and sincerely, her wish for a blissful marriage would come true. It is the day on which Lord Ranganatha and Ranganayki are seen together and worshiped. Thus it can be seen wedding used to be performed on particular days and time when celestial bodies were in perfect harmony recognized as auspicious day and time and fixed by Vedic astrologers even for Gods. Modern astrologers relate them to faulty horoscopes of the couples and fix Muhurtas suiting the convenience of marriage parties. In temple Traditions Wedding of Gods is celebrated on any day (nitya kalayana sarvabhauma)   to oblige the devotees to bestow divine blessings to fulfill their desires. In temples like Tirupati this Kalyanotsava is a rich source of income to the temple happening every day.  Pundits justify Lord is Nityakalyana-sarvabhauma (can celebrate his wedding anniversary on any day) and he need not bother about auspicious celestial assembly or movement time like mortals.  Sri Ganesaha Temple in Nashville is performing Seetha Ram Kalyanostva on June 19 on a Sunday to attract maximum crowds and participants following Seetha Rama Parivaara Chalaprathishtha taking place on June 18, Saturday. I wonder why they did not wait for Panguni Uttiram Day! I do not know Phaalguna Utttara written in Ramayana is the same as Panguni Uttiram Kamban mentions. Only our modern astrology Pundits can tell. Of course they will agree for a price!
Dasaratha was elated to know about the exploits of Rama and about the marriage proposal coming from Janaka after Rama won the contest of Swayamvara by breaking Sivadhanus.  He started for Mithila with all his retinue and reached Mithila after travelling for four days. Valmiki writes in Ramayana that Dasratha voluntarily ordered his treasures of pearls corals, precious gems and heaps of gold to be carried in front. This deserves to be noted by the parents of the bridegrooms today! Janaka welcomed them with due honor and informed Dasaratha that the wedding will take place the day after their arrival when the Yajna will be completed. He said, “yajnasyaante narasreshta vivaaham rishisammatham,“ indicating that the wedding is of the kind called Braahma, which is done according to the principles laid down by the Vedas.
The marriages are of eight kinds according to Manusmrthi. They are, Braahama, Daiva, Arsha, Praajaapathya, Gaandharva, Asura, Raakshasa and Paisaach.  Braahma   Marriage is celebrated,  when the boy completes his Brahmacharya, that is, gurukulavasa and the parents of the boy approaches the parents of the girl who consent to give their daughter satisfying themselves about the background and education in Vedic lore of the boy. No dowry is given and no money transaction involved and the bride is given as Kanyadaaana to the bridegroom. The arrngements are left to y the choice of the one who gives the girl as Charity (Kanyaadaana).  This is the highest and noblest kind of marriage. I believe Rama took a short cut on Gurukula studies and acquired full knowledge of Vedas from Viswamitra (both para and apara Vidya).
The reply of Dasaratha to Janaka was classic. Valmiki calls him vaakyavidhaam  Sreshtah, the best of the speakers. Dasaratha said 'pratigraho daatrivasah sruthametan mayaa puraa yathaa vakshyasi Dharmajna tat karishyaamahe vayam,' The meaning of the sloka is this: “The (execution of)   gift   depends on the donor, this has been heard by me in the past (which is a well-known fact). We shall do as you will bid us to do, O knower of what is right!”    Hence Dasaratha agrees to do as Janaka says because he is the donor, the giver of Kanyaadaana (a noble charity) while Dasaratha is the one who receives, and therefore all has to go according to the wishes of the donor.  Beggars are not choosers! This idea should also be noted by the parents of the bridegroom now-a-days. The entire choice was left to Janaka, the bride’s father.
Then Vasishtha narrated the glory of Ikshvaku Vamsa (dynasty) and Janaka stated the greatness of his Vamsa(parampara) and they agreed on the marriage which is like Nischayathartha (betrothal) of modern times. One surprising thing was the notable absence of all the three mothers, Kausalya, Sumitra and Kaikeyi, who for some unexplained reason did not accompany Dasaratha though the role of wife as Sahadharminee is too much stressed in this chapter!
The day of the marriage dawned.  Janaka offered to give his daughter Urmila to Lakshmana and Viswamitra suggested that the daughters of his brother Kusadwaja, Mandavi and Srutakirthi may be given in marriage to Bharatha and Satrughna to which Janaka agreed with delight. Vasishtha was requested by Janaka to conduct the marriage and he did so with Satananda and Viswamitra. Valmiki describes in such detail, all the rituals done before and during marriage that we can learn about them from Ramayana.
The Muhurta was set for two days: the star Poorva phalguna (Nischtartham Day)  for the previous night and the following day Uttara  Phalguna(Wedding Day), that is,  Panguni Uttiram for Tamils, which day has become important for so many other reasons  since then.  Seetaa beautifully adorned and bedecked with jewelry, was brought to the marriage hall, and here is one of the places where Valmiki the poet has overtaken Valmiki, the sage.
Thathasseethaam samaaneeya sarvaabharana bhooshitaam

padmaam padhmaviyukthaam vai kesavaankachyutaam iva

vidhyuthprabhaam visaalaksheem snigdhakunchithamoordhajaam

hamsaankitena kshoumeNa kimchit  peetheena samvritaam

vaasithenottareeyena suraktena susamvritaam ( VR.BK.73.30)
Seetaa was adorned with all ornaments, wearing red upper-cloth which fully covered her and also covered with a veil of silk slightly yellow decorated with swans. She looked like Lakshmi who has left her lotus and slipped from the lap of Vishnu. She shines like lightning and has large eyes and beautiful curly hair.
Kamban, the Tamil poet, describes the arrival of Seetaa in his own inimitable style.

“Ponnin oli poovin veRtri sandhu podhi seetham,

minninezil, annavaL tham meni oli maana

annamum arambaiyarum aar amizdhum naanaa

sittridai nudanga olir seeradi peyarndaal”

She was shining like gold, with sweet smell of flowers, and cool with the sandal paste, her luster that of lightening and she put to shame the Apsara damsels and the swans with her gait.
The beauty of this verse consists in the rhythm of the words which is in kanta nadai which when recited even without music sounds like the beautiful walk of Sita. As compared with this the verse in same rhythm is used to describe the gait of Surpanakha but the alliteration was such that it portrays the deceitful behavior of the Rakshasi in disguise.  Madurai TN Seshagopalan, an exponent of Karnatic music explained this in his Harikata religious discourse on Kambaramayana and also sang the two verses in kanta nadai to the delight of the audience to echo the two opposite gaits, one of poise and beauty and other harsh and loud.
Janaka placed Seetaa in front of Rama before fire and said the famous lines which are repeated till today in marriages.
Iyam seetha mamasutaa   sahadharmacharee tava

prateeccha chainaam bhadram tay paanim grihneeshva paaninaa

This sloka is explained by commentators elaborately as it is repeated in every wedding to-day like a Veda Mantra:

iyam - this Seetaa—Here by iyam one should understand:
1. She is well known not only for her beauty but also because of her mode of manifestation. Seetaa means the edge of the plough and she was called Seeta   because she emerged   from the earth when the tip of the plough touched the ground where she was. Being Ayonija, not born from the womb, she shines with her special attributes natural to her.
2. She is like lightning and could not be seen with normal eyes and so Rama’s attention was drawn.

3. Rama as Narayana has been separated from Seetaa, Lakshmi, for long and therefore he would have been searching her everywhere even when she is not there. Hence he was told that Seetaa is here.
4. She also, like Rama, acts like a human being but has taken the incarnation for the sake of Rama only.
5. She has come to Janaka because of much penance in order to be given to Rama in Kanyaadaana.

Mama sutaa - my daughter--Janaka is a Rajarishi and being his daughter is a testimonial for Seetaa . This adjective is the predecessor of the next.
sahadharamacharee tava- -She will be a fit companion for you in all your pursuits, both yoga and bhoga (spiritual pursuit as well as enjoyment). For instance Seetaa proved to be a sahadharmacharee in showing mercy like Rama, if not more than Rama, who accepted Vibheeshana who was faultless, while she showed mercy even to those who wronged against her in Asokavana, by saying 'na kaschit  naparaadhayati’, who has not done something wrong ever.' Rama narrated the story of the doves to illustrate his saranagati dharma and likewise Seetha told Hanuman the story of the bear and the tiger (VR-YK)
prateeccha chainam- Take her.-- She actually belonged to Rama and hence Janaka says "take her" and not "I give her to you."
bhadram  tay-- May you be auspicious by marrying her-- It is a mangalaasaasanam to ward off evil eyes as the couples are extraordinarily suited to each other. These words occur very often in Valmiki Ramayana. Being a sage he bestows benediction to the characters and through them to the reader.
paanim grihneeshva paaninaa- take her by hand.--By this Janaka denotes his approval as her father. This also denotes that the marriage is a Braahma one with the consent of the parents.

Janaka gave away Seetha by pouring water sanctified by mantra to the hands of Rama by way of Kanyadaana, saying 'pativrataa mahaabhaagaa chchaayaa iva anugataa tava'  These words, meaning that she is chaste and fortunate and will follow you like shadow are predictive of her following Rama to the forest later. She reminds this to Rama later and says that she has to go with him as per the orders of the elders (VR-AK).
Janaka’s vow to give his daughter in marriage only to a hero of spiritual prowess was fulfilled when Rama earned he hands of Seetaa by breaking the Siva Dhanus.   The arrangements for the marriage were briskly made, Dasaratha was sent for, and he gladly gave his consent and came to Mithila with all his retinue. Janaka invited all his relatives and friends and kings of the neighboring countries. The ceremony was however simple. On the appointed day at the auspicious time fixed by the astrologers of the court the king conducted his daughter, who was dressed for the marriage, near the sacred fire (Agnikund).  Janaka made her stand near the bridegroom and said “This is Seetaa, my   daughter. She will be your partner in Dharma. Receive her, take her by the hand. I wish you happiness. Happy in her devotion to you, she shall ever follow you even as a shadow.”  After the wedding festivities were over, Viswamitra blessed the prince and the princess and retired to the Himalayas, and Dasratha started for his capital. The party reached Ayodhya where an enthusiastic welcome was awaiting them from the citizens and the royal household.
Raama-Seetaa Wedding was a Braahma Marriage.  It gives the general guideline for such a marriage which is described above in detail.  There was neither the exchange of horoscopes nor any dowry by the girl’s father.  In fact Dasaratha, father of the bridegroom   gave all the jewelry to the bride. There was no Maangalya Dharanam or Gatti melam.  However, their marriage was fixed on an auspicious day and time based on astronomical harmony of constellations. Over a period, this Braahma Marriage has been made very elaborate, complicated and an occasion for fleecing the girl’s parents.  Here is an expert opinion on   the subject of present day wrong practices who is not only a well-read astrology scholar but also an important member of a reputed  astrology association in Bengaluru:  
“To my knowledge astrological matching boy’s and girl’s   horoscope for holy matrimony was very rare back around 100 years or so! Only the Purohit (Priest) who conducted the marriage used to see the star and the Gotra.  If both parties had doubt they used to go to a temple and place a white flower and a red flower in betel leaves separately. After placing the same before the presiding deity an innocent boy or girl would be asked pick one of the closed leaves.  If they picked white flower they agreed for the marriage. If they picked the leaf with red flower they agreed to cancel that marriage proposal. This was the system prevailing then. I also do not feel astrological matching is a must for marriage.  Manu Smriti says if the parents of the girl do not find a match for the girl before three years after the girl’s attaining puberty, she has every right to choose her partner. In Hindu marriage Panigrahanam and Kanyaka Daanam are to be performed during the Muhurtam.  Muhurtam time is fixed to overcome all ill effects in the horoscope.  During Mangalya Dhaaranam only a Sanskrit Sloka is chanted and not a sacred Vedic Mantra and therefore this is not the most sacred step as it is made out today. (Once three knots are tied the girl is bound to husband life-time and nothing can save the situation is the blind belief).  In earlier days only a Kantha sootram was tied around the neck of the bridegroom for the   occasion like the holy thread tied to the hand.  It was three strands to go with three line-marks round the neck. You may also note that this sloka is also used during Shashthi-abda-poorti celebrations (60th birthday of husband if wife is alive when the marriage ceremony is re-enacted and a third pendant is added)   Srimad Bhagavatam predicts Sangara Vargam (people marrying out of caste) would increase and gradually all caste system would fail in Chapter 12 while elaborating on Kaliyuga Lakshana” says our astrology expert. [Here is a justification for love marriage as well as inter-caste marriage too in Hinduism.]

Samavartana and Naandi Sraaddham
Dasaratha performed Samavartana ceremony after his sons shaved off hairs from their  heads (Mundan) and the Bridegrooms performed Naandi Shraaddha to their ancestors at the commencement of the actual wedding ceremony. Activities related to deceased ancestors are more important than those related to God. Therefore every sacred ceremony begins with Nandi Shraddha. So also begins the Marriage ceremony. Taittiriya Upanishad 1.11 says:    Devapitrukaaryaabhyam na pramaditavyam-- One should not commit mistakes in any task performed towards God or ancestors' souls. One should not avoid these rituals. Gita also says: “Patanti pitaroh yesham  luptapindodaka kriya”-- Due to the nonperformance of rituals like pinda shraddha and offering water to deceased ancestors etc., the ancestors of such people (who do not perform Shraddha) have to reside in the Hell region. This results in stagnation and no progress of the descendants. Generally this ritual is not a prerequisite in current day practices.
In Seetaa Kalyaanam the wedded couples go round the sacred fire thrice. There is no mention of Saptapadi. This has been a recent development like many others that are described in my article Vivaaham-Hindu Sacred Matrimony of Braahma Marriage.
While preparing the sacred sacrificial altar for the wedding Vasishtha also took care to prepare   earthenware pots with sprouts which is Paalikaa Sthaapanam and Visrajanam explained under South Indian Wedding described in my detailed discourse on Vivaham, Hindu Sacred Matrimony   Rituals for conducting Nuptial ceremony. These are rarely seen in modern Hindu Weddings   except among Brahmins in the South.
Paalika—this custom of germinating seeds is observed in marriage ceremony. Five earthen pots are filled with sand or earth—these are meant for the five deities, Brahma, Indra, Yama, Varuna, and Soma. The one for Brahma is kept in the center while the other four are kept at the four points of the compass (the pots Indra, Yama, Varuna and Soma being kept in East, South, West and North respectively). Seeds of rice, black gram, green gram, sesame and mustard are soaked in milk and sown in the five different pots by five Suhaasanes. On the fourth day of marriage (in the five days’ marriage of ancient tradition) or at the conclusion of the wedding ceremony when the seeds have germinated the pots are immersed in a sacred river or pond. This custom, called, pancha-paalika, is meant for the protection and prosperity of the family for whom the function is performed. Incidentally this is asking for peace through flora and fauna awakening once duty towards environmental protection and prosperity—Oshadhayah saantih; vanaspatayah saantih | It is also symbolic of fertility praying for good progeny.
I have also seen in USA the priests conducting Upanayana sacred thread investiture ceremony even in Inter-marriages as a preliminary ritual. If this is to be done what about Samaavartana   sacrament which was performed on Rama? Rama never underwent this sacred thread investiture sacrament prior to wedding. I believe he should have had Upanayana sacrament earlier being a Kshatriya though not mentioned.   Upanayana Sacrament was prevalent in Vedic culture for Brahmana, Kshatriya and Vaisya   castes including girls. Caste seems to have become a birthright during the days of Rama even.
It is also mentioned that as Sahadharmini Seetaa was   getting ready to perform Shraddha ceremony honoring deceased parents which practice is not there in present days. Also Shraddha was performed at an appointed Muhurta (sacred time) which is also overlooked in current practices.  We should not forget the Sacrament of   Hindu Marriage came into being following Seetaakalyaanam, first ever wedding in Puranas written down in  Adikavya  and got introduced to Hindu Way of Life.
“The slit in Plough it   is called Sita.  Rama (ramyate iti) means one who delights the heart. He is   the indweller. Just as air, moisture and light are everywhere, so Rama dwells in all hearts. Sita is the one who can pierce the land; she can remove the hard core of the ego of man. After all, this is the field, the hard land full of ego, full of Maya. Nobody can change you unless you have a strong Sita element in your life as well as the element of Rama. That is the meaning of ‘Sita-Rama’.
They represent Prakriti and Purusha, matter and spirit, electrical wires and electricity, minus and plus. In the Bhagavad Gita (13:19), it is said:
Prakritim purusham chaiva viddhyaanaadi ubhaavapi
Vikaaraamshcha gunaamshchaiva viddhi prakritisambhavaan.
 Know both Prakriti and purusha as beginning-less or eternal.  Know also that all the modifications and qualities are born of Prakriti.
Prakriti and Purusha are the two eternal principles of this creation. They are the principle of the universe that you see and the universe that you do not see, the imperceptible universe. Therefore, Sita without Rama, Krishna without Radha, or Shiva without Gauri is not the reality.   Reality always lies in duality, because if there is no duality, there cannot be any trinity. If there is no trinity, there is no permutation and combination, and if there is no permutation and combination, then what is all this about? This creation is an outcome of the permutation and combination of the elements of Prakriti and Purusha. Whether you talk in mathematical, metaphysical or scientific terms, it is the same. Whether you talk about unified field theory, quantum physics, Adwaita Vedanta or Dwaita Vedanta, we have to accept that there is duality with a possibility of trinity, and permutation and combination. Therein lies the infinite possibilities of creation” says a swami Satyananda in his speech on Sitakalayana.
Lot of   Pomp and show, fun and frolic like Kasiyatra,   Exchange of Garlands, money gift,   Baraat etc. have been brought into this sacred simple ceremony written  by Valmiki in his Ramayana and at the same time overlooking some important rituals like Nandi Shraaddha and including some uncalled for rituals like horoscope exchange,  Santi to overcome evil effects of horoscopes, Mangalya Dharnam etc. What is loathsome is the dowry system and exploitation. It is also disgusting to watch the horrible seen, when the girl who  turns a widow irrespective of her age,  on the tenth day when  the so  called sacred mangalasutra is snatched and the girl forced wear a red or white Sari even forcing her to shave her head like a nun which however is fast vanishing like Sati or Sahagamana by the wrong interpretation of the term (sahadharminee).
[This discourse has been prepared by drawing considerable help from Internet sources, Swamiji’s speech, my various discourses on the subject, Srimad Valmiki Ramayana,  Kamba Ramayanam, Bhagavad Gita and Upanishads  and  expert opinion from participants  which is gratefully acknowledged:

[This discourse material is a compilation from the reference above    as well as other sources for a prepared lecture for delivering at Vedanta Class of Sri Ganesha Temple which is gratefully acknowledged. I do not claim anything as original though I have included my explanations and comments elaborately suitably editing. Anybody is free to download partly or fully this discourse, modify and redistribute this as well as other  discourses from the blog Hindu Reflections <nrsrini.blogspot.com> for spreading the wisdom of Vedas and scriptures further.  These  lectures are  posted on the blog for the benefit of those who are not able to attend my lectures personally due to personal reasons or due to not living in Nashville or able to go through the various sources as I have done. ]


APPENDIX


Kamban’s  description of  Seeta-kalyaanam
 (Translated by P.R.Ramchandra Rao)

1198. The king of kings Dasaratha  reached   the hall, whose limits were   difficult to find out,   whose  roof  was made of  Gold, which was as tall as mountain ,which was    decorated by costly gems, and where all the auspicious   things   for wedding has been collected and stored.

1199. With the white royal umbrella   giving the light   of young  moon, and that  umbrella also  giving out the light of sun jading the eyes, with bees which bore in to the flowers   singing,
and  dust raising due to the hoofs of victorious horses Dasaratha arrived.

1200. At that time   the auspicious sound of wedding drums blared forth, the   groups of conches also boomed, small and big drums raised their sound, and the sound    of chanting of Vedas    by those   experts in Vedas, matched the sound of the waves    of   ocean at night, when it will be more.

1201. The wide chariots   elephants and the horses that can fleet, came in crowds   and crowds    sorted  in to correct groups, those kings who normally salute    Dasaratha    and follow him, came along with him like Indra being surrounded by devas.

1202.  Dasaratha who travelled  in that  grand manner, came and sat in a  pretty  golden seat making it more pretty, sages and other   kings   as per   their rank occupied their seats, and Janaka also occupied    the seats along with his relatives.

1203. Due to   kings, sages, devas of the sky   and   maidens, walking like swans   who were similar to the ladies of heaven, crowding that hall, that matchless   hall of marriage, was looking like   golden Meru mountain which is circled by   planets.

1204. In that marriage hall which was constructed   by  Maya, richly    embedded  with precious gems without expecting  anything in return, glittering  ladies   were there,  matchless   stars were  there, due  to many kings being there,  there   were the clan of nine precious  gems, Sun and Moon were there in the  form of Dasaratha and Janaka, and it looked   like the universe   created   by Lord Brahma.

1205. Great sages   and kings   and with devas were  kept  inside, in that  marriage hall    and so   it was like the belly of Lord Vishnu, who swallowed   earth and heaven and kept it there  during deluge.

1206.  All the people   of not only this earth but the   entire universe, gathered   there with eagerness to see the marriage. Should we exaggerate about it? Since there  is no need for it; We  will tell the part played by  Rama who has left   his bed, of Adhisesha  in Vaikuntha   and has come  over to Ayodhya.

1207.  With sacred waters  having been brought from the seven sea, where   heaps  of conches are found   and with the very special holy waters    that have been mentioned  in the Vedas , in which the waters   of the sacred   rivers  like Ganga has  been mixed, as per tradition  Lord Rama    took his auspicious   bath.

1208.  After   giving  charity  to  faultless ladies with Kayal fish like   eyes, which extended up to their ears  and   to  Great Brahmins, who were expert   in Vedas , Rama saluted  Ranganatha, their glorious  family deity  who  was worshipped  by his sinless ancestors   who had done  penance without any nmistake.

1209. Like the boon  which  saved penance and  Dharma   which  was being destroyed  by Rakshasas   as there was none to protect them taking a form of its own, he who had a form like that of  a  picture, took the sandal paste  and applied on himself like  cloud  smearing the moon.

1210. Like the moon which is the storehouse  of all auspiciousness was produced as a of  the black sea   with rising waves, Rama wore   Red face garland, golden garland, and flower garlands   which were stable   on his wavy hair.

1211. After seeing him moody due to pangs of love   during day and night, similar   to the sun and moon coming  as emissary to Rama, and going near    his ears   to tell   about thoughts of Sita, Rama wore two shining  ear globes  on his ears.

1212. Like lord  Shiva  holding as axe and having the black poison on his neck,Rama  wore   the crescent    of the moon at the    tip of his long hai; Rama  also wore   an ornament called  “veera pattigai “ and Thilaka   on his forehead making  the Sun God  think that he would wear all shining  things of the world.

1213. Making people think that this  was  the conch Panchajanya   near his wheel, Rama wore    several white pearl necklaces, made people think, that the smile of the   white complexion Sita   having long black hair, has gone inside Rama, occupied everywhere  and has   been bubbling  out.

1214. With properly embedded  diamonds  looking   like  dots  on the hood of the snake,and   the Manikhya gems having an endless    red color resembling red colored   fire, the shoulder ornaments    worn on the pretty shoulders   of Rama   were looking like Vasuki that  was tied round Mandhara  Mountain.

1215.  The three  big threads   in which pearls were chained , were   tied   in the center of the   wide  wrists of Rama , possibly indicating that he   is the Lord of all the   three worlds, which is a symbol that has been agreed by everyone.

1216. Like the Kalpavriksah (boon-giving) tree  made  bangles   of gold and gems  and tied them on its healthy branches    for   helping    the people who come before   it with great desire,  Rama wore    those shining  bracelets on his pretty broad hands.

1217. On the chest where   the Goddess Lakshmi   who sits on the honey dripping lotus flower, sits with   great joy   Rama wore pretty    garland that was hanging  with several gems, and  it was like rain bow  rising  in cloud filled sky with stars.

1218.  Like the wisdom   of wise people   that   cannot  be approached by ordinary people, the lustrous upper cloth , was  worn over the    holy chest  of  his by Rama, who has a form of mercy similar to the luster of gems worn by Rama  on his neck.

1219. The holy thread   over the chest which was like sun, moon and fire, is  definitely the great trinity that  even sages  and devas  do not know, and it   was tied in its end   possibly requesting all to   think and realize this truth.

1220.  The ornament called stomach belt which is long , which spreads  of  the luster   of the gold and  has  a large Manikhya gem in    its middle, looked like, another golden lotus  had flowered  on his belly, so that another Brahma   who created the world  would be born there.

1221.  Rama   wore the white silk dhothi on his    hips , which   was similar   to the black sea    which is the birthplace    of  lustrous  Manikhya gems   being hugged   by the  white cool   ocean of milk using its long arm of tides.

1222. The pearls that   are born in the sea   and the lustrous blue Maikhya  gems there, due to the reflection   of great light, by their movement   giving out the luster   of pure Gold resembled the Sun God going    round the  golden Meru, and like that Rama tied  the glittering sword   to his hip.

1223. With  the showering luster  of  pearls  chained together  in a row, tied by Rama   like an ornamented   belt  which was tied  round his waist, along with the sword  put in its scabbard  which was shining like Sun, Rama hung chained pearls  near it and it appeared like the early sun light.

1224. Merging   with luster  of those who see   with  the luster of gems were the Kimpuri which was made by hand  like a mouth of a shark, and from  the gems which represented the teeth there, the white light reflectd, and Rama   wore that ornament   on his thigh  so that he  can  be seen from distances  in all directions.

1225. Thinking how these  feet now would  measure   the world again,Rama wore the heroic anklets  which had the nature of individually stopping, and whose   workmanship cannot be understood, even if examined with care so that they would  surround and catch   his lotus like feet.

1226. After getting up from his bed of Adhi sesha, lighted with gems due to penance   of those  of the deva , and being born as a prince in Ayodhya  for  the sake of devas, Rama dressed himself   in this way. And he was none to compare but  himself after  that.

1227. He who was   the first  and the  root cause among the   trinity, who was the pleasure of those who cut off  the attachment to this world, who was the father of all, who is the nectar   of the ocean of milk, and who can only be comparable  to himself  was Rama, then how is it possible   to describe the    greatness of what he wore?

1228.Rama   gave  thousands of crowds  of cows and Gold, limitless land  and the nine precious gems  to the good people and  with the blessing of Brahmins   who had the rare   wealth, of the knowledge of Vedas, he came and climbed   in to his chariot.

1229. The chariot of Rama had a huge axel made  of Gold, had wheels made of silver , the travelling space  made  of Diamond, and all round it the precious  gems were  set and reflected    light to a long  distance, and was easily comparable to the Chariot of  Sun God with one wheel.

1230. Four horses which were   perfect as described   in the book, which had the  ability to look deeply , which were  filled with great beauty ,and which were  desired by all like dharma, wealth  , passion and salvation, were chained to the chariot of Rama  who  could know the nature  of matchless hearts.

1231. In such a great  chariot, similar  to Aruna being the charioteer, Bharatha   who had the eyes shedding tears of joy stood as charioteer, and  took in his hand the stick and Lakshmana  who held the bow that can be bent, also accompanied him  as also  his other brothers who were fanning  him  with a sauries (chamara)   with   handles  of gold.

1232.All the people   were looking at Rama  without closing their eyes like devas. I do not know whether this was due to   the prettiness of the body of Rama, or  possibly due  their thinking of beauty of Rama only by their patient  minds. You may please ascribe it to the reason   that you would prefer.

1233.  All those devas   who along with  the  crowd  of their ladies, who had come   and assembled in the   sky   started dancing, thinking that   the time  for  destruction of Rakshasas  who were  torturing all the worlds and who were not getting destroyed, has come.

1234. All the ladies of that town showered flowers   and perfumed   dust on Rama. They threw   profusely shining gems, gold and apparel to others due to extreme joy, possibly because    they were with joy, drinking     the great beauty   of Rama. We are  not able to ascribe any other reason for the acts of these women.

1235. Like giving away all that they have   and telling, “take away all that we wear”, all those   ladies who saw the great Rama   due   to their great  desire, towards Rama, stood there with all their ornaments getting loose  and falling down.

1236.  Surrounded by all the kings, without leaving out any one, who were all armed with weapons that can be thrown, and were standing like a crowd of elephants, Rama reached, the marriage hall where  King Dasaratha was sitting,  like  The Sun with red rays of light   approaching   the hug , Meru mountain, riding   on his great chariot.

1237. That Rama decorated  by  flowers,  who was  capable of giving boons, after getting down from the chariot   in that place, took  the hands of his brothers Bharata and Lakshmana   who were standing  on both his sides  saluted   the sinless   great sages, saluted the feet of his father,
who has taken, “following dharma”    as his penance, and sat near his father.

1238. Like a  red flower branch of the color of gold   carrying  the moon, with a bow   on   whose top were the Kayal fishes, with jasmine buds, slightly opening in the moon, Sita   appeared   on the eastern corner  of  the chariot, which was like   the lady who was born in the ocean with waves, being borne in the earth  and she being born again at the top of the mountain.

1239. All  those devas who were thankful , addressing Rama told that   “This day when you are  garlanding  Sita   appears to be more pretty, than that  holy  day(Lakshmi)   when you garlanded   the lady with   the scented and pretty hair who was born when we   were churning the ocean.”

1240.Because the beauty of this lady   would be greater  than, all the beauty that can be found  in land of devas, this earth, surrounded by the roaring ocean and land of serpents, what shall I, who has very little knowledge ,   say, about   the festival   of her wedding   which   was performed.

1241. To see the beauty   of  that bride and groom    Devendra   came along  with his wife Sachi on the sky. Lord Shiva   who wears   the young crescent with his wife,and  Lord Brahma  who lives in a lotus  came with Goddess  of the Learning.

1242. Surrounded by  Brahmins wearing the sacred   thread, and who were experts in Vedas, the great sage Vasishta   came to conduct the wedding as per tradition    along with, instruments like plough  that were needed with great joy.

1243.He then spread the sand, kept  Dharba grass  in proper places created a circular  place as per rules, poured ghee  with tender flowers, and lit the sacrificial fire  and proceeded   to  carry out the rituals   as per the rules laid down in the  Vedas.

1244. Coming with perfumed materials   and who  sat  on seats for wedding  and that hero who was victorious  and  that  swan like lady   who was having great love, were   appearing like the great pleasure   and  the Yoga needed to enjoy it.

1245. King Janaka stood before    the son of the emperor   and saying, “You please   live with stability  like Lord Vishnu  and Goddess  Lakshmi, who sit on the  lotus flowerand  Poured  pure cool   water  on to the  lotus    flower  like   hand  of Rama.

1246. That  time the sound of the blessing of Brahmins   and the songs of “long live”  by the ladies   who were wearing rare  ornaments the words of greeting   by   the kings    who were wearing flower garlands, the  sound of blessing of great sages    joined   together, and the sound from auspicious musical   instruments   roused  a great blasting sound.

1247. With the   rain of flowers  of devas , with gold flower showered by kings, with   lustrous pure pearls    showered   by all others   and with flowers , which had opened by themselves , the earth was like the  star studded sky. with stars.

1248.Then the great  hero Rama, after  telling the Swaha  chants thrice, put   the  offerings in   along with ghee   in to the hot fire and then held the tender  palms of that lady  with  his hand.

1249. Along with the broad   shouldered  Rama , for performing, the rites   on fire , when she   was  walking around the hot fire, Sita with feminine qualities,  like the soul following  the body  in different births, followed Rama like  the body following the soul.

1250.Then they went round the fire and saluted it, again came round it , saluted and put into the fire things like  puffed rice   and other offerings, stepped   on the lustrous   grinding stone   and saw  Arundathi   who was   very famous   for her stable virtue.

1251. After completing all other rituals that need to be done, after  saluting   the very pleased   sages   of great penance , after saluting    the king of kings , holding  the hands, of Sita where she was wearing golden bangles ,  he went inside the palace   they were residing

1252,  The huge drums blared forth , the   conches boomed, the Sound of four Vedas   were heard the devas made loud cheers, all the  arts   made great sound, the sound of  “long live”   was  heard;the sound of bees was heard  and the oceans made   great sound.

1253. Then he saluted the   daughter of the Kekaya king, with more affection in his mind than towards   his own mother, then he  touched the feet of his mother and his head if wearing an ornament to his head, and  then he  saluted the feet of Sumithra  who had a pure mind.

1254. The swan like princess   also saluted   their gold like holy feet, and they all became greatly happy   and seeing that maid, who had virtue like Arundathi  they  told , “To our   good son,
She would  be a great ornament. ”

1255.  They hugged the nightingale  like   girl who was wearing  conch bangles and told,” To our dear son with pretty eyes which other girl would be more    suitable “ and with their eyes filled with  joy, filled  their minds also with joy.

1256. Then they said , “Let her  who is like an ornament for ladies,  get uncountable  crores   of gold coins, countless    crores  of pretty    rare   ornaments , host of lady assistants, several countries and  costly silk apparel  .”

1257. Rama   who was a  sea of mercy  like the black   ocean, as per the advice of wise  people who have   read  sea of books,along with Sita    who had an ocean of desire   in her mind  ,
retired  like he normally   takes   rest   in the ocean of milk.

1258.  In that day time when it was  Uthra star of Panguni month, after completing the marriage of  lion like Rama with thousand names, sage Vasishta   as per the branches of Vedas   lit the auspicious fire and, brought    the marriage    rituals    to an auspicious  end.

1259. Janaka with faultless   victories told  , “Please also marry, the three   daughters of my younger   brother , who are like, the lotus flowers   flowered in slushy mud  and  who are like Goddess Lakshmi, to the   younger brothers   of Rama  “ and in consultation,with Dasaratha   and other relatives   fixed the marriage.

1260. The three daughters   of  Janaka who was   wearing chest full  of garlands   made from harvested flowers, and  that of  Kusadwaja the brother  of Janaka  who held ladle    applied   with ghee, were ready     for the  marriage, and those brothers  married those  with eyes full of Kajal   
who were like  deva maidens    and who had fully come to age.

1261. After they all got married as   per their desire,  king Janaka, not giving   away  the fame that he had    earned for several years, gave away all the wealth that   he had earned as per truth and Dharma to all those    who wanted   it  and fulfilled all their wants.

1262. King Dasaratha also  like  Janaka gave lot of charity  and   enjoyedlimitless happiness   and   talking   with sages who had the wealth of penance as well as knowledge   
lived for some days in the town of Mithila   and slowly, the days  passed.


1263.  When Sita daughter of Janaka   and Rama   enjoyed  all pleasures as per the incarnation that they   have taken,  Viswamithra the sage who knew rules of life,after blessing  the groom and bride as per   the Vedic law,  travelled towards    the north   and reached  Himalayas   to do penance.




The Marriage of Seetha with Rama in  Ramayana

Introduction
Please recall my earlier discourse on Kalyanotsava in Hindu Temples that I would not like to repeat:

Colorful Ksalyanotsava with all fun and frolic celebration in South Indian Hindu Temples is  an introduction to temple tradition  by  the Tamil Culture. There are volumes of justification for that and is also a rich source of income to temples and priests. Ardent devotees dare not miss to attend such weddings, sponsor and participate. Venkatesa-Padmavati, Sita-Rama, Siva-Parvati, Subhramaya-Devayanai and Valli, Radha-Krishna weddings are the ones ceremoniously celebrated. It is strange even though Radha is neither the legally wedded wife of Lord Krishna nor you find any such reference in Puranas this wedding is popularly and ceremoniously celebrated. Of course throughout North India only Radha-Krishna Temples are seen promoted by Spiritualists, Pauranikas and Iskcon followers. There are few ancient Hindu temples where Krishna is worshiped (Parthasarathy Temple in Chennai) with his   legally wedded Crown Princess Rukmini.indu temples HHindu  It is also strange that   there are only shrines of Andal in her bridal dress in many Vishnu temples in South India  but her fixed wedding with Krishna is never celebrated though there is ample justification looking at Radha Kalyaanam.  Nobody has ever questioned our religious pundits or learned priests on all these things. I would not like to go into detail on all these weddings as elaborated or not mentioned in Puranas but would like to deal with Sita-Rama Kalyana as described in chapter 73 Balakanda of Srimad Ramayana of Valmiki.
Please recall the most popular sloka that is even adopted in Venkatesa suprabhatam: Kausalyaa suprajaa raamaa poorvaasandhyaa pravartaate| uttishtha narasardoola kartavyam daivamaahnikam ||
Oh Rama! Please get up as dawn is approaching and perform your daily obligations and complete the worship of the Lord.   Rama is from Ikshvaku dynasty and his Kuladeiva is Lord Jagannatha as revealed later:
Parting advice given by Sri Rama to Vibhishnana in Ramayana is as follows: In Uttarakanda, Sarga 108, Slokas 30-31 he saysa to Vibhishana: 
Rakshasendra Maahaa bala! Aaraadhaya Jagannaatham Ikshvaaku Kuladaivatam | Aaraadhaneeyamanisam devairapi savaasavaih | tatheti pratijagraaha ramavakyam vibhishnah ||”—
O mighty Rakshasa King! Worship Lord Jagannatha the presiding deity of Ikshvaaku dynasty. He (Vishnu) is to be worshiped   even by the Devas (divines) including Indra.  King Vibhishana implicitly obeyed Srirama”.   It is obvious that all Ikshvakus including Srirama worshiped Lord Jagannatha and Rama would not have missed this important Nityakarma on this wedding day.  
It is therefore appropriate and proper to start this ceremony with Jagannatha Puja, instead of the customary Ganesha or Vishwaksena puja in temple worships as is in vogue in sectarian traditions in performing Sita-Rama kalyanotsava in multi traditional temples! Also the Upakarya mentioned in the wedding might include proper farewell to Jagannatha (visarjana) invoked at the commencement (avahana) of the ceremony.
As is evident  from Balakanda, the ceremony gives enough leverage and  scope for all the fun and frolic enjoyed in the pre and post ceremonial Hindu wedding celebrations--Baraat, Vidhaayee, Kasi Yatra, Garland exchange,  Nalungu, Aridra darsanam, stepping on  stone etc., introduced by our dexterous priests to make the Kalyanotsava a fun and frolic celebration and attractive  as in Tamil weddings.
Thamils have also converted devadundhubi (heavenly trumpet announcement) with light and sound to Gattimela.  But unfortunately there is no Mangalya dharana in Sita-Rama Wedding as learnt from Ramayana. But devotees   blindly believe and wait for the auspicious time of Mangaya dharana and would not like to miss paying their obeisance to Manngalya that is taken around before tying by Rama. Often they offer gold Mangalya to the deity seeking her favor for a happy married life. 
There is no mention of Ganesha puja or Gowri puja in Valmiki Ramayana that may be traced to auxiliary Ramayanas of modern days. There is nowhere mention of Ganesha in Valmiki Ramayana but a whole chapter is devoted to Kumarasambhava and his emergence as Devasenapati.  Skanda is also mentioned as Sanatkumara in Chandogya Upanishad but not Ganesha.   Ganapati in Veda refers to Indra. Rama did worship Surya (Aditya) and Jagannatha. Ganesha is introduced to us as Ekadanta and a scribe only in Dvaparayuga who wrote Mahabarata with his broken tusk and not the Naramukha Vinayaka created as body-guard by Parvati and worshiped still in a lone temple of Adivinayaka in South India. Hence Ganesha puja and Gowri puja is inappropriate in a wedding that took place in Tretayuga.enmce ganesha puja and gowri puja is HHence
It is therefore proper and sacred to stick to the actual rituals that were performed in this sacred matrimony expressed in bold letters in the attached text in the various slokas describing Srirama’s Prajapatya Vivaha with Sita devi found in the chapter 73 of Valmiki Ramayana Balakanda. We should be guided by the rituals in this sacred divine wedding conducted by Brahmarishi Valmiki and others rather than forcing our religiously confused and socially indulged wedding guided by religious pundits and priests of modern days as that would be at the expenses of the sanctity of divine weddings intended for Loka Kalyana, universal welfare.  Most of the times, important rituals like   Kuladaivata puja, Nandi Sraddha, Agni sthapana, Homa, Palikaa puja and visarjan, Panigrahana, Lajja homa etc. as described in Ramayana are forgotten or slipped  while highlighting Gattimela and Mangalya Dharana coming from Tamil Tradition, as the focus point of the whole wedding in all the Sita-Rama Kaltyanotsavas in  Temples I have attended or participated in India and USA.  Please go through the Ramayana text above and cross check it with our current day practices in temples and judge for yourselves.
It is also customary to perform Kalyanotsava on any convenient day as arjita-seva, individual subscribed or for raising temple funds as Sri Rama and Sita are Nityakalyana dampatis.  But at the same time temples should not forget  Panguni Uttiram or Phalgun Uttar day the holiest day on which this wedding actually took place without consulting the horoscopes of both,  being  the holiest day  on which no such astrological consultation is called for. This day is Divines’ Wedding Day when   many heavenly weddings took-place according to Puranas--Subhramanya with Valli Devayanai; Sundaresvarar with Meenakshi; Rama with Sita. Also Andal joined with   Krishna on this day in her bridal dress even though actual wedding did not take place as she gave up her ghost while marching to the wedding hall!

One thing that puzzled me in this Kayanotsava is the assembly of Rama, Lakshmana, Sita and Hanuman. May be Hanuman being Chiranjeevi   and as the inseparable devotee wants to watch the Divine wedding as Ramabhakta all the time. Only we have to keep him at a distance from Sita Rama assembly. I wonder why Lakshmana is presented in the assembly. Of course he too got married to Urmila on that day. Also in the description in Ramayana Both Rama and Sita face each other in front of Homakunda and later join together after Kanyadana for Panigrahana. With a little understanding all this can be properly displayed in this great divine wedding sequentially.
We need not wait for any invitation or wedding card or call for this marriage, as all are welcome, equally and individually. Let us go to Ramayana straight, without any further introductions and preliminaries.

APPENDIX

SITA- RAMA WEDDING IN BLAKANDA OF RAMAYANA
Desiraju Hanumanta Rao,  INTERNET

यस्मिन् तु दिवसे राजा चक्रे गो दानम् उत्तमम् | तस्मिन् तु दिवसे शूरो युधाजित् समुपेयिवान् || -७३-
Yasmin tu divase raajaa chakre go daanam uttamam | tasmin tu divase sooro yudhyaajit samupeyivaan
On which day the king Dasharatha made the impressive cow donations or, initiatory rites, on that day alone the valiant Yudhaajit turned up. [1-73-1]
पुत्रः केकय राजस्य साक्षात् भरत मातुलः | दृष्ट्वा पृष्ट्वा कुशलम् राजानम् इदम् अब्रवीत् || -७३-
Putrah kekaya raajasysa saakshaat bharata maatulah | drishtvaa prishtvaa cha kusalam raajaanam idam abraveet ||
Yudhaajit, the son of Kekaya king and the brother of Kaikeyi, thus the direct maternal uncle of Bharata, having seen and asked after the wellbeing of Dasharatha said this to him. [1-73-2]
केकय अधिपती राजा स्नेहात् कुशलम् अब्रवीत् | येषाम् कुशलकामो असि तेषाम् संप्रति अनामयम् || -७३-
Kekaya adhipatee  raajaa snehaat  kusalam abraveet  yeshaam kusalkaamo asi teshaam samprati aanayam ||
 "The ruler and king of Kekaya, viz., my father and your father-in-law, has affectionately asked after the wellbeing of all, and in whose wellbeing you are interested at my place, they are all hale and healthy as of now... [1-73-3]
 स्वस्रीयम् मम राजेन्द्र द्रष्टु कामो महीपतिः | तत् अर्थम् उपयातो अहम् अयोध्याम् रघुनंदन || -७३-
 Svasreeyam mama rajendra drashtu kaamo maheer patih  | tat artham upayaato aham ayodhyasyaam raghunandana ||

"Oh, Raghu's legatee, oh, best king, my father and the king of Kekaya is interested to see my sister Kaikeyi's son, Bharata, and for that reason I am sent to Ayodhya... [1-73-4]
श्रुत्वा तु अहम् अयोध्यायाम् विवाह अर्थम् तव आत्मजान् | मिथिलाम् उपयातान् तु त्वया सह महीपते || -७३-4 || त्वरया अभुपयातो अहम् द्रष्टु कामः स्वसुः सुतम् |
srutvaa tu aham ayodjhyaayaam vivaaha artham tava  aatmajaan|mithilaam upayaatan tu  tvayya saha maheepate| tvarayaa abhupayaato aham drashtu kaamah svasuhu sutam ||
"Oh, lord of the land, in Ayodhya I have heard that you went to Mithila along with your sons for their marriages, and wishing to see my sister's son Bharata I promptly travelled here..." Thus Yudhaajit told Dasharatha. [1-73-5, 6a]
 अथ राजा दशरथः प्रिय अतिथिम् उपस्थितम् || -७३-||  दृष्ट्वा परम सत्कारैः पूजार्हम् समपूजयत् |
atha raajaa dasarathah priya athitim upasthitam | drishtvaa parama sat-kaaryaih poojaarham samapoojaya ||
 Then king Dasharatha on seeing the adorable guest who arrived in his presence, and who is a merited one for adoration, Dasharatha adored Yudhaajit well, with full felicitations. [1-73-6b, 7a]
 ततः ताम् उषितो रात्रिम् सह पुत्रैः महात्मभिः || -७३-||
प्रभाते पुनः उत्थाय कृत्वा कर्माणि तत्त्ववित् | ऋषीन् तदा पुरस्कृत्य यज्ञ वाटम् उपागमत् || -७३- ||
tatah taam ushito raatrim saha vputraih mahaatmabhih | prabhaate punah utthaaya kritvaa h karmaani tattvavit | rishreen tadaa puraskritya yajna vaatam upaagamat ||
Then on taking rest for that night along with his noble-minded sons, and again on getting up in the next morning, and on performing morning-observances as a duty-bound king, Dasharatha arrived at the hall of Vedic-ritual, keeping the sages in his forefront. [1-73-7b-8]
He arrived at the Vedic-ritual hall that he was frequenting for the last few days. Unless invited the bridegroom's party will not enter the marriage hall, and now-a-days such an invitation includes a small function also, called vara pooja as every bridegroom will be looked up to as Vishnu, and the bride as Lakshmi. The marriage hall is constructed nearby this Vedic-ritual hall, thus it is to be assumed.
 युक्ते मुहूर्ते विजये सर्व आभरण भूषितैः | भ्रातृभिः सहितो रामः कृत कौतुक मंगलः || -७३-
वसिष्ठम् पुरतः कृत्वा महर्षीन् अपरान् अपि |
Yukte muhoorte vijaye sarva aabharana bhooshitaih | bhraatribhih sahito raamah krita kautuka mangalah | vasishtham purutah kritvaa maharsheen aparaan api ||
Rama arrived at his father together with all of his brothers, keeping sage Vashishta and other eminent-saint ahead of them, on an opportune and appropriate hour called 'Victory...' and all the bridegrooms are adorned with all kinds of jewelry appropriate for the wedding time, and all have performed the auspicious ceremony for marriage-thread, conducted prior to the marriage and, all have thread-bands tied around their wrists, as they all have performed an auspicious ceremony antecedent to marriage ceremony. [1-73-9, 10a]
The ceremony for the marriage thread, the sacred thread of marriage for knotting as a necklace of the bride, mangala sootra is nowadays mixed up with gauri Pooja.   This gauri pooja takes precedence of wedding ceremony.   Gauri pooja, has its roots in the auxiliary Ramayana-s, and not in (Valmiki Ramayana) where Seetha is said to have gone to Goddess Parvati's temple, prior to her marriage, to perform gauri pooja, pledging herself to Rama. The thread bands tied at the wrists of both the bride and bridegroom is as per wedding time vows, to bring them under the pledge of marriage, until its consummation. Indian marriages are time-oriented and every function has to happen on the appointed hour. Hence, the arrival of bridegrooms is also on an opportune hour, which astrologically brings forth success of that event. But some say that this auspicious hour Vijaya occurs in the early part of the day. Since this marriage is occurring in the later part of day, this time is to be reckoned as one that brings victory later in the epic.
Brides are not alone destined to wear jewelry.   Bridegrooms are also asked to wear golden ornaments, at least one, on such occasions. The metal gold is said to contain some beneficial effect by which a man or a woman will be benefited, health wise: mR^itaa dur luptam madhumat suvarNam dhanam jananam ruNam daarayiSunam... after all gold is gold.
वशिष्टःओ भगवान् एत्य वैदेहम् इदम् अब्रवीत् || -७३-१० ||
राजा दशरथो राजन् कृत कौतुक मन्गलैः | पुत्रैः नर वर श्रेष्ठ दातारम् अभिकांक्षते || -७३-११ ||
vasishtah o bhagavaan yetya vaideham idam abraveet | raajaa dasaratho raajan krit kautuka mangalaih | putraih nara vara sreshtha daataaram abhikaankshate ||
Then that godly sage Vashishta on going from Vedic-ritual hall to marriage hall said this to Janaka, "Oh, best one among best people, oh, king Janaka, having performed the auspicious marriage-thread ceremony, Dasharatha along with his sons is looking forward for the donor [1-73-10b, 11]
 दातृ प्रतिग्रहीतृभ्याम् सर्व अर्थाः संभवन्ति हि | स्वधर्मम् प्रतिपद्यस्व कृत्वा वैवाह्यम् उत्तमम् || -७३-१२
Daatri pratigraheetribhyam sarva arthaah sambhavanti hi | svadharmam pratipadyasva kritvaa vaivaahyam uttamam ||
"In marriages all the puruSaartha-s, the component values of life, namely rightness, riches, revelries, and results of final release will be occurring only if the benefactor and beneficiary meet, isn't it. Hence let king Dasharatha come, and then on actualizing this best marriage you too will be doing your best devoir as royal priest... [1-73-12]
Hindu marriage is not a contractual obligation because it protracts over seven life cycles of that couple. Therefore, it is calculated correctly and celebrated sacredly.
इति उक्तः परम उदारो वसिष्ठेन महात्मना | प्रत्युवाच महातेजा वाक्यम् परम धर्मवित् || -७३-१३ ||
Iti uktah parama udaaro vasishtena mahaatmanaa | pratyuvaacha mahaatejaa vaakyam parama dharmavit ||
Janaka is not only an outstanding  valiant king but he is also  a profound knower of probity also, besides being an unreservedly generous king; hence he has already made all arrangements.   When he is praised in this way by Vashishta that king replied to that right honorable Vashishta as follows. [1-73-13]
 कः स्थितः प्रतिहारो मे कस्य आज्ञा संप्रतीक्ष्यते | स्व गृहे को विचारो अस्ति यथा राज्यम् इदम् तव || -७३-१४
kah sthitah pratihaaro mae kasya aajnyaa samprateekshyate | sva grihe ko vichaaro asti yathaa raajyam idam tava ||
"Who is that doorkeeper that  can prevent your entry? Or, for whose orders you all await with a bated breath? Do you hesitate in your own house, or what? This kingdom is as good as yours... isn't so... [1-73-14]
These are neither questions nor surprises, but the usual retorts and repartees usually employed during wedding time by both parties, samdhi-s of northerners and sammandi-s, of southerners, i.e., the wedding parties. By these rebuttals and ripostes, both the parties come close with each other's family traits as well as with its members.
कृत कौतुक सर्वस्वा वेदि मूलम् उपागताः | मम कन्या मुनिश्रेष्ठ दीप्ता वह्नेः इव अर्चिषः || -७३-१५ ||
Krita kautuka sarvasvaa vedi bmoolam upaagataah | mama kanyaa munisreshtha deeptaa vahneh iva archishah ||
"Oh, eminent-saint Vashishta, knowing the successful completion of    auspicious performance of  marriage-thread ceremony ( yajnopaveeta dharanam) as well as  tying thread-band (kankana bandhanam) onwrists, my daughters have already arrived, and they are at the base of the Altar of Fire, like the irradiant jets of flames of radiant fire... [1-73-15]
सद्यो अहम् त्वत् प्रतीक्षो अस्मि वेद्याम् अस्याम् प्रतिषितः | अविघ्नम् कुरुताम् राजा किम् अर्थम् हि विलम्ब्यते || -७३-१६
sadyo aham tvat prateeksho asmi vedyam asyaam opratishitah | avighnam kurutaam raajaa kim artham hi vilambate ||
 "I am all-set, ready and waiting for you at this Altar of Fire. Let everything be done indeed without any deterrents. What for the king Dasharatha is dawdling..." So said Janaka to Vashishta. [1-73-16]
Vashishta reported this to Dasharatha; Dasharatha and his coterie then started a marriage-procession, which usually will be dillydallying, inching and poking along, very leisurely. Even today this customary  entertainment marriage procession is popular as baraat '-pageant of bridegroom's party'  that covers at least  two furlongs distance in two hours, or even more, keeping the bride's party on  tension and nervousness.
तत् वाक्यम् जनकेन उक्तम् श्रुत्वा दशरथः तदा | प्रवेशयामास सुतान् सर्वान् ऋषि गणान् अपि || -७३-१७ ||
Tat vaakyam janakena uktam srutvaa dasarathah tadaa| pravesyaamaasa sutaan sarvaan rishi ganaan api ||
On hearing that statement of Janaka,  Dasharatha started proceeding towards marriage hall, and then he started directing  his sons one  after another, four in all, into marriage hall along with all of the assemblages of sages. [1-73-17]
 ततो राजा विदेहानाम् वशिष्ठम् इदम् अब्रवीत् | कारयस्व ऋषे सर्वान् ऋषिभिः सह धार्मिक || -७३-१८
रामस्य लोक रामस्य क्रियाम् वैवाहिकीम् प्रभो |
Tato raajaa videhaanaam vasishtam idam abraveet | kaarayasva rishe sarvaan rishibhih saha dhaarmika | raamasya loka raamasya kriyaam vaivaahakeem prabho ||
Then that king from Videha dynasty, Janaka, addressed Vashishta thus: "Oh, the master of all rituals, Oh, Sage Brahasapati, oh, Master among sages perform all steps of Vivaha  rituals  to Rama, one who  delights the world..."   [1-73-18, 19a]
 तथा इति उक्त्वा तु जनकम् वशिष्टःओ भगवान् ऋषिः || -७३-१९|| विश्वामित्रम् पुरस्कृत्य शतानंदम् धार्मिकम् | प्रपा मध्ये तु विधिवत् वेदीम् कृत्वा महातपाः || -७३-२०
अलम् चकार ताम् वेदीम् गन्ध पुष्पैः समंततः | सुवर्ण पालिकाभिः चित्र कुम्भैः ankuरैः || -७३-२१
anकुर आढ्यैः शरावैः धूप पात्रैः धूपकैः |  शंख पात्रैः श्रुवैः स्रुग्भिः पात्रैः अर्घ्यादि पूजितैः || -७३-२२ लाज पूर्णैः पात्रीभिः रक्षितैः अपि संस्कृतैः |
Tathaa iti uktvaa ti janakam vasishtah o bhagvan rishih | visvaamitrampuraskritya satanandam cha dhaarmikam | prapaa madhye tu vidhivat vedim krutvaa mahaatapaah | alam chakaara ctaam vedeem gandha pushpaih bsamantatah | suvarna paalikaabhih bcha chitra kumbhaih cha sa ankuraih| ankura aadhyaih saravaih cha dhoopa paatraih sa dhoopakaih \ sankha paatraih sruvaih srugbhih paatraih arghyaadi   poojitaih   |  laaja poornaih cha paatreebhih rakshitaih api samskritaih|
Thus said, that godly sage Vashishta replied "so be it," to Janaka, and embarked on arranging Altar of Fire keeping sage Vishvamitra and the virtuous sage Shataananda in front  of him, and that sage with great ascetic Vashishta, has arranged an Altar of Fire in the midpoint of the cool-thatched manorial-marriage-pendal, decorating it with sandal paste and flowers. Then he promptly sanctified variously colored handy vessels, and lid-like concave earthen vessels, which are full with just sprouted sprigs, and he sanctified even other golden vessels, fumigated  with fumes of incenses, conch-shell like vessels, and short handled wooden scoops for scooping oblation  items from vessels for putting it in long-handled scoops, and long-handled wooden scoops to drop those oblation  items into Ritual-fire, and vessels filled with oblation  items like ghee, water, milk etc., and vessels filled with toasted rice-flakes and vessels filled with sacred yellow-rice duly treated with turmeric, and he sanctified all articles of wedding ceremony by sprinkling holy-yellow-rice, as a kind of dry-ablation. [1-73-19b, 20, 21, 22, 23a]
These are some of the usual paraphernalia for marriage ceremony even now. The sprouting sprigs are symbolic for the prospective sprigs from this marriage, and rice-flakes for the abundance of livelihood of the couple. Usually the concave lid like vessels will be filled with black cotton soil, and on them nine varieties of grain nava dhaanya will be sprinkled to obtain sprigs. Later they are to be kept sacred for some days, watering daily, and then can be implanted in earth, if they survive. There are hosts of shops specialized to sell these items and the shopkeeper firstly want to know whether we are from ' bride's side or of bridegroom's side?' And if we say, 'we are from bride's side' a long-list is presented, [while bridegroom's side will have a shorter list of items,] and then the shopkeeper mercifully asks 'how much is the dowry?' If we say this much or that much, he will present a Victorian model push-close pull-open velvet bag. If we exclaim 'what for is this, priest has not listed this' then he politely says, 'the priests of these days are unaware of customs and the dowry money is to be put in that velvet bag and then given, as a royal presentation...' And if we say 'we are drained out by the dowry, wherefrom we give royal presentations...' then he will spew fire on us saying 'you spend so much on dowry, can't you purchase its velvet bag...' and thereafter a sermon follows about the dying Indian culture at the onslaught of Westernization, while he starts throwing the packets of nava dhaanya etc., as though he is giving alms to the beggar. Though Janaka has not purchased such a bag of dowry, he has some more problems with this marriage. A discussion on this is there at later part. Here the sprouted sprigs are the sprouting avengers on the evil, called Ravana.
 दर्भैः समैः समास्तीर्य विधिवत् मंत्र पुरस्कृतम् || -७३-२३
अग्निम् आधाय तम् वेद्याम् विधि मंत्र पूर्वकम् | जुहाव अग्नौ महातेजा वशिष्ठो मुनिपुंगव || -७३-२४
dharbhaih samaih  samaasteerya vidhivat mantra puraskritam | agnim aadhaaya tam vedyaam vidhi mantra poorvakam | juhaaya agnau mahaatejaa vasishtho munipungava||
 Then that great resplendent and eminent-saint Vashishta neatly overlaid even-sized sacred grass on that Altar of Fire synchronizing with Vedic-chants, and on preparing Ritual-fire by rubbing two wooden sticks, called araNi, he placed that fire in the pit of Altar, which is aflame now, and then reverently and in tune with the Vedic-hymns he poured oblation liquids into that Altar of Fire, with short-handled and long-handled wooden scoops. [1-73-23b, 24]
 ततः सीताम् समानीय सर्व आभरण भुषिताम् | समक्षम् अग्नेः संस्थाप्य राघव अभिमुखे तदा || -७३-२५ ||
अब्रवीत् जनको राजा कौसल्य आनंद वर्धनम् |
tatah seetaam samaaneeya sarva aabharana bhooshitaam |   samaksham aqgneh samsthaaya raaghava abhiumukhe tadaa | abraveet janako raajaa kausalya aananda vardhanam||
Then that king Janaka led forth Seetha, who by now is decorated with every variety of bridal jewelry, and on positioning herself   facing Raghava in the presence of Altar of Fire; then Janaka addressed Kausalya’s darling Rama [1-73-25, 26a]
By the way, where is this Kausalya? Does Rama enrich her happiness without bringing her to his marriage? We have not heard of her or of other queens or hosts of his father’s other wives, for the last three or four days. Has she come, at all? - Yes, she has come and she is physically present - is the argument of some, basing on Valmiki's style of unrecorded accounts on trivial, or matter- of-fact scenes. They are implied and implicit. Dasharatha has performed some cow charity, religious functions etc., which he is not supposed to do without his wife at his side. These ladies are implicitly included in the first verse of sixty-ninth chapter: sa upaadhyaayaH sa baandhavaH 'with, teachers, with relatives...' and Dasharatha has no near relatives, not exactly relatives, but family, other than his queens and sons. So, they all are in 'et cetera... and others' cadre at present. Other way round, it is said in Kshatriyas only male members will go and get the bride, which has no reasonable or tenable import, as far as marriages are concerned, and where every marriage concerns only with womenfolk and their panoply.
Seetha is said to have all bridal jewelry, which is not odd or particular to this corner of globe. But it is odd and exotic jewelry. if the bride were from well-to-do family or from royal family. Though not all, some of the jewelry items that are almost extinct now are listed here. siimanta pralamba a pendant clipped at back of head, dangle through the central parting of head-hair, onto the crown of head, with nine-gem-stud locket; shiroja soochi diamond studded hair pins on either side of head above ears; naasa aabharanam a round nasal ring; naasa bhuSaNam single or a pair of nine-gems studded nasal ornament; karNa aabharaNa, taaTanka, karNika various kinds of earrings with dangling cups, to which trinket bells dangle; shata yaSTika hundred stringed pearl necklace; anukanThii, muktaavalii, graiveyikam and many other kinds of necklaces; mekhala three finger width golden cincture, studded with nine-gems, and with fine golden chains dangling like festoons; saptakii seven stringed girdle string, where the strings dangle onto hip, with expanding festoons; keyuuram bicep-lets; kankaNam bracelets and bangles from wrist halfway up forearm; maNi manjiira, tulaa koTi, paada angada ankle-let with kinkiNii trinket bell-globules; cuuDaa maNi a circular jewel at bun of hair from which a gold sheet dangles till the end of braid, on which all zodiac signs are engraved. At the top, on the left and right of this cuuDaa maNi ornaments in the shape of sun and moon are pinned into jhair, and at the end of braid three / five gold cups studded with hair like strands upa kaca will be dangling. This set of braid's ornamentation is said to receive the solar energy to whole of the spine. So goes on and on the list of ornaments, to the delight of the girl wearing them and to the delight of the goldsmith making them.
Here there are five Raghava-s and only one kausalya aananda vardhana i.e., Rama. Then poet should have simply said 'Rama' instead of 'Raghava' but there are many Rama-s, Parashu Rama, and Bala Rama and such like, and on such calling as 'Rama...' Parashu Rama, who is scheduled to enter after marriage, may perhaps enter now, in a faux pas. Then the poet should have said dasharatha aatmajam. Then, who will be that single soul from among the four boys of Dasharatha to come forward. And if all the four hear the calling, as 'oh, Raghava' all will reply in chorus "ok, it is I..." then what will happen? Avoiding all these irksome situations, the poet gave this stage-direction to Janaka that he should aim at the son of Kausalya, with a subtext, 'you are mothered by some human female, whereas my daughter is motherless, rather un-mothered, a yoni ja non-fetal is her origination, hence it is apt of you to not to belittle her, anytime and anywhere... and you have to keep faith with her, since she outshines in outperforming your task in this so-called incarnation...'
इयम् सीता मम सुता सह धर्म चरी तव || -७३-२६||  प्रतीच्छ एनाम् भद्रम् ते पाणिम् गृह्णीष्व पाणिना
 iyam seetaam mama sutaa saha dharma charee tava | prateeccha cha yenaam bhadram tae paanim griheeshva paaninaa ||
"This is Seetha, my daughter, she acquits herself in whatever duty you undertake. Take her wishfully, let safeness betide you, take her palm into your palm..." [1-73-26b, 27a]
Or Here Sita stands, my daughter fair, / The duties of thy life to share. / Take from her father, take thy bride, / Join hand to hand, and bliss betide! / - Ralph T. H. Griffith
[This is the key sloka of the whole marriage episode and has deep meaning for each word from various scholars]
The above is very a convenient and readymade gist of that verse. But the three pronouns in the first stanza iyam, mama, tava 'this, mine, yours' are supposed to play havoc in deciphering the latent meaning of this verse. Let us look at some of them.
Seetha is very much there in the front of Rama, and Janaka might have shown her and told "take her...' Why this iyam i.e., "this It is explained as below:
Janaka: This and this alone is Seetha, the unique, exceptional and earmarked one for you... do not confuse yourself by looking at Urmila, Maandavi and Shrutakiirti they are for your brothers
Rama: Why she alone is earmarked for me?
Janaka: Because she is 'Seetha'
Rama: What, you mean a furrow, or a zillion...
[zillion is an old word for furrow, not found in dictionaries, but used by poet Hopkins in his 'The Windhover' ' sheer plod makes plough down zillion /]
Janaka: Yes, everything comes out of earth... from coal to gold, flora to fauna, rivers to ridges everything.... a morsel of food comes from a handful of mud in this mortal world.... your being, becoming and belonging in, are manifest only because of that earth and earth enables you to live on her without seeking any requital or reciprocation and earth is the symbol of enduring ,;toleration symbol for mortal truth, and mortally tolerant womanhood; you people want to know the Unknown in the skies, but do not wish to know what that is right under your feet... vedaa aham etam puruSham mahaantam aaditya varNam tamasaH parastaat | if the Supreme Person beyond darkness is knowable, and sages like Vishvamitra know you and tell that you are some Super Soul aham vedmi mahaatmaanaam raamam satya paraakramam - bala 19-14 likewise you shall know iyam siitaa, for she is somebody to match you... interpreting   Veda-s, Upanishad-s on the importance of the word Iyam
Rama: Why not every bit of it...  you name, it I tell it
Janaka: How does the fifth mantra of eighth topic in Chaandogya Upanishad reads?
Adi Shankara's commentary: There are three letters that denote the Absolute sa, ta, yam; and the syllable ii on sat is for easy pronunciation. The letter sa indicates immortality and the word ta mortality, and the syllable yam conditions and bridges both the above ' Ramanuja’s comment: The letter sat is immortality and the letter ti is mortality and yam conditions both, hence sattiyam is indicative of Spiritedness and non-spiritedness ' Madhvaacaarya says: sat, delivered immortal souls; ti yet to be delivered bounded souls; yam both the delivered and bounded souls.
Janaka: Seetha is that yam the conjunctive, conditioner, bridge between the mortal and immortal, setu - eSa setu iti vidharaNa the presiding deity of chetana achetana dynamic, static beings. Oh, Rama, it is said in Vishnu Puraana that Seetha is your look-alike, minus your sky-blue complexion, raaghavatve bhavet siitaa... It is said in yet another scripture, yatha mayaa jagat vyaaptam - sva ruupeNa svabhaavataH | tayaa vyaaptam idam vishvam niyantrii ca tathaa iishvarii || 'as to how I am all pervading, likewise She, Goddess Lakshmi, is all pervading and the controller of the universe ' and if you want to establish yourself as the protector of this world, you have to take this and this Seetha alone, as she is the cause for the desired effect of yours and, she is from Mother Earth ratna garbha and you are a sapphire boy from a mother, and a sapphire shines only if it is studded in earth-given gold anargham api maaNikyam hema aashrayam apekshate otherwise you, your incarnation, your epic, your mission, why one or two, everything concerning you will be futile, and you have to return to your milky abode empty handed, and here on earth, every house breeds one or more Ravana-s
Rama: How am I to conclude 'this' as 'that...' I mean Goddess Lakshmi
Janaka: Certain aspects are to be inferred because they are un-manifest. Fire on the mountain is un-manifest but smoke is manifest, hence fire is inferred. So also, ayam iishvarii is manifest as iyam this girl... from siitaa furrow, zillion, a narrow trench in ground made by ploughshare... as a small seed manifests into a gigantic banyan tree, and from this the nature of her non-fetal birth, it is to be inferred likewise, and only because of it she is someone above mortals. Because you have come as a mortal she has to take birth as a mortal, as an inseparable entity of yours!
Rama: Then why can't she fall from sky or from other planet?
Janaka: She cannot. Your connection with this earth is age-old and you love it. Because you love earth, she has to emerge from earth, a lovely act for you.
Rama: Then why mama sutaa... she can be fostered in any orphanage
Janaka: Not so. An auspicious thing or being requires a sanctum sanctorum... Mithila is one such... and Videha-s are not just kings of this part of land, but they are priests of pious or holy things like the bow of Shiva. You know the naming of vi deha... it is not 'without bodies...' but transcending bodily affairs Thus she chose this as her background and as she presented herself to me as baby girl, I have to look upon her as mama sutaa 'my daughter ' And many, many kings sought her hand in marriage, but I refused and they warred with me, whereby I had to call for the forces of gods to counterattack the enemy forces; perhaps, you might not have heard that humans can summon gods; thus gods are at my disposal; a prayer of mine brings them here, either for a war or for a ritual. So, do not take me or my daughter Seetha, iyam siitaa mama sutaa as some ignoramus and insignificant dullards
Rama: Then why you want me to take back, as though she belonged to me for eons, but lost in a journey
Janaka: Yes, she is yours from ages unknown; I cannot donate her in kanyaa daana 'bestowal of bride ' because your marriage is eternal. But you two have arrived here in human forms, so conduct yourselves in conformity with human customs.... that is why I tell pratiicCha enaam ' take her back, wishfully ' for that saying of mine get no anger on me; bhadram te 'let safeness betide' you; by this act of yours paaNim gR^ihNiSva paaNinaa ' you take her palm into your palm ' that which is customary in human paaNi grahaNa mahotsava 'wedding ceremony '; by the way, you always keep your consort in your heart hR^idaya kamala do not do such things as long as you are on earth for your incarnation will be disclosed.... just take her hand and let not this heavenly secret be leaked out... lest Ravana may come to know that you are not human and it will be impossible for you to eliminate that evil, thereby as he can be exterminated only by humans by the boon granted by Pitamaha.
Likewise, let us, the readers of rAmAtyaNa, keep this info about Rama un-disclosed to Ravana, if any of us meet Ravana by chance....
And we now proceed to the human level import of this verse.
Janaka: 'iyam "this girl" who has ---
mugdhamanoharamanoj~namohanaatmakasukumaarasoundaryalaavaNyaadau--- a beauty par excellence [and par problematic beauty as well, for Ravana alone has got more words to extol her beauty, as in Ch. 46 Aranya]  
Or, so, iyam "this one" is about whom you have heard from day one in the hermitage of Siddha, i.e., when you started towards Mithila;
Or, hence, iyam "this one alone" is that girl who is on your psyche from the minute you broke that Shiva's bow, and whom you are envisioning praasaade praade ca pathi pathi ca saa pR^iShTataH saa purataH 'on verandas of multistoried buildings and in window ledges, on this street and that street, before you, behind you ' during these days of your stay in Mithila....
Rama: No, No, No, you are wrong... I did not aim at any girl when aiming to lift that old bow... sorry for your unilateral conclusion...
Janaka: No, my dear boy, the condition I stipulated before your touching that bow is bilateral... I clearly said that my daughter belongs to one who can lift that bow... you were quick enough to grab the girl, rather than the bow... and in that hastiness you even broke that bow... had you declined the girl, you should have declined to lift the bow, also... so, iyam siita was the only intention of yours when lifting that bow...
Rama; Maybe. But we want high-born, high-bred girls --- not fatherless, motherless, birth-less orphans
Janaka: You seem to be a doubting Thomas... that's why I said mama sutaa 'my daughter ' when it is said mahataa tapasaa raama... 'by high degree ascetic Dasharatha obtained Rama.. What does it mean? So also, I too obtained and fostered this girl with much better ascetics’ [than your father], and even protected her from warring factions [only to give back to you ]; by the way, the environ of Mithila itself is of utmost sanctity and piety... if we are to be lowly subjects, why your guru Vishvamitra brought you here, that too by foot don't think that you are taking this girl for your personal enjoyment, but it is for a calculated purpose... this girl meets that purpose and her wifehood, as well.... hence I said saha dharma carii tava ' she will be in toe with your duties'
Or, tava dharma saha carii ' whatever is your duty that duty become hers too '..
Rama: Somehow there appears some cacoethes confusion from you, from all the sages, from my father and mothers, even
Janaka: Nothing of that sort is there... if you wish heartily then only you take her... I have not said siitaam dadaami 'I am donating Seetha ' but I said pratiicCha enaam 'take her, take her back ' or else, she will exit as she came and unfulfilled will be your mission... it is up to you to decide.... no compulsion whatsoever...
Rama: Then, let her take hold of my arrow and walk with me round the Altar of Fire, because, for Kshatriya-s that is the custom...
Janaka: I know, I know, but this marriage does not fit into any of the eight kinds of marriage prescribed for humans... hence I carefully said paaNim gR^ihNiiSva paaNinaa' take her palm into your palm'
The types of ancient marriages as laid down by scriptures are eight kinds. 1] braahmya: inviting a celibate scholar after completion of his Vedic studies, and offering a bride with due ceremony; 2] daiva: offering a bride to a ritwij when he is conducting a Vedic-ritual; 3] aarSa: giving the bride after donating a cow and ox for the success of Vedic-ritual; 4] praajaapatya: offering a bride without seeking anything from the bridegroom, to follow the course of dharma; 5] asura: giving ample money to bride's party or to bride and marrying her at costs; 6] gandharva: man and woman falling in love and marrying on their own, just out of lust and bodily pleasures; 7] raakshasa: if a bride or bride's part do not agree, by maltreating, torturing and terrorizing them, and thereby seizing the bride; 8] paishaacika: while the girl is asleep, or making her drunk, or unconscious and then molesting her, by which she becomes a 'can't but' bride - a worst kind of marriage.
eteShu aShTasu vivaaheShu ayam vivaaho na ko api bhavitum arhati - tat ukta lakShaNa a bhaavaat | tathaa hi - na taavat braahmyaH iti - aahuuya daana a bhaavaat | na api daivaH - kShatriyasya aartivijya a sambhavat | na aarSha - kanyaa pitro go mithuna go daana a bhaavaat | na api praajaapatyaH - viirya shulka iti kathanaat | na api aasuraH - kanyaa pituH dravya daana a bhaavaat | na api gaandharvaH paraspara anuraageNa samsarga a bhaavaat | na api raakShasaH - chedan hanana aadinaa prasahya kanya haraNa a bhaavaat | na api paishaaciH - sva apapramaada anyatam avasthaa a yuktayaaH | tasmaat katamo ayam vivaaha iti cet - saha dharma carii tava - iti uktyaa praajaapatya eva vivaahaH - dk
And when none of the eight is unsuitable for Seetha's wedding it is brought under the fourth praajaapatya- because saha dharmam carati iti praajaapatya - aashvalaayana | samyoga mantraH praajaapatye saha dharmam caryataam - gautama | saha dharmama carataam iti praajaapatyam - bodhaayana | But here something is sought from the bridegroom, in the name of lifting the bow. But that is negated saying the 'seeking' is the seeking of material assets, not valor or bravery. It is namesake, and even the nomenclature that Seetha is the bounty for valor viirya shulkais a namesake; kShatriyeShu viirya vara eva shreShTatvaat taadR^ishaya kanyaam pradaatum viirya parishodhanam kR^itam iti shulka iti kathanaat shulka shabda aupacaarikaH | dk Hence this marriage is for implementation of righteousness and it is treated as extramundane and celebrated every year.
Rama: This marriage does not fit into any category! Then why this marriage at all!
Janaka: To be in tune with this world's tradition... however, this marriage technically comes under the category of praajaa patya
Rama: So, you adjusted the rule books... then why me, let her take my hand...
Janaka: The enjoyer has to grab the object of enjoyment, not vice versa... take her now and bhadram te and 'be best '
 =========
Next, Janaka is asking the bridegroom like a poor Indian father to take a poor and motherless bride Seetha.
Janaka: iyam - 'this' girl is a simple match to you who broke the bow of Shiva;
siitaa' born in furrow' a motherless girl, hence, kindly be merciful towards her;
mama sutaa ' my daughter ' rather, a poor fellow's daughter; where I have always been engaged in rituals and ceremonies, thereby I may not have brought her up properly, and thereby if she does talk rashly or behave oddly, like an ill-bred girl, kindly tolerate and correct her;
saha dhrma carii iva where iva is ' like ' just take her like your 'custom-bound consort' and let her be useful in ceremonies and rituals, though not for pleasure trips and excursions';
pratiicCha enaam 'take her ' where the bridegrooms usually woo, court and date girls, send many messages to her parents asking for that girl in marriage; but, this girl being an uncommon one, I am begging you to take her;
paaNim gR^ihNiiSva paaNinaa you take her hand as she is hesitating to take your hand, for your hand is strong enough to break an unbreakable bow, she is fearing to take your hand, lest her arm too will be broken;
bhadram te 'be blessed' when you honor our appeal
--o)0(o--
And there are many, many more shades of meanings derived from this verse, but all culminate to say - 'you two are made for each other'
 =====
पतिव्रता महभागा छाय इव अनुगता सदा || -७३-२७ || इति उक्त्वा प्राक्षिपत् राजा मंत्र पूतम् जलम् तदा |
Pativrataa Mahaabhaaga chaaya ivaanugataa sadaa | iti nuktvaa praakshipaata raajaa mantra pootam jalam tadaa ||c
 "She who is prosperous and husband-devout, will always be abiding you like your own shadow..." So saying that king Janaka then poured forth water into the palms of Rama, which is sanctified with hymns. [1-73-27b, 28a]
Pouring water at the time of donation into the receiver’s hand symbolizes the free flowing will of the donor. The 'shadow' expresses nitya sambandhatva 'ever related entity...' Or, a trace of His liilaa vibhuuti, maaya. Though they are living separately so far, that farness is now washed off by this holy water.
 साधु साधु इति देवानाम् ऋषीणाम् वदताम् तदा || -७३-२८|| देव दुंदुभि निर्घोषः पुष्प वर्षम् महान् अभूत् |
saadhu saadhu iti  devaanaam risheenaam vadataam  tadaa | deva dundubhih nirghoshah pushpa varsham mahaan abhoot ||
Then there occurred great flower-showers from firmament, while sages and gods staying in firmament have exclaimed, "nice... fine..." to the drumbeats of heavenly drums. [1-3-28b, 29a]
What happened to these gods when boy Rama eliminated Tataka and others? Are they any lesser feats than this marriage? And why this drumming and showering flowers and blessings, when it is 'just' a human's marriage? Now the cause for the effect is cojoined to Rama to effectuate their plea to Brahma. If the entire arsenal given by Vishvamitra is set-aside for a moment, the 'present' now presented by Janaka is the ultimate weapon for the use against Ravana.  aprameyam hi tat tejo yasya saa janaka aatmajaa 'unlimited is the energy, to whom Janaka's daughter belongs...' Rama is the instrumental cause in eliminating Ravana, whereas Seetha is the efficient cause for it. Lanka is ruined by Seetha, through Hanuman with the help of Fire-god, but not by Rama, or all of the monkeys put together. And Rama eliminates the half-dead Ravana. There are some more flower-showers and drumbeats and dances, later.
 एवम् दत्त्वा सुताम् सीताम् मंत्र उदक पुरस्कृताम् || -७३-२९ || अब्रवीत् जनको राजा हर्षेण अभिपरिप्लुत |
Yevam datvaa sutaam seetaam mantra nudaka puraskritaam |  abraveet janako raajaa harshena abhiparipluta ||
 On handing over his daughter Seetha who is duly sanctified with sanctified waters, King Janaka is completely overwhelmed with exhilaration for the successful performance of his bit as a father and he said this. [1-73-29b, 30a]
 लक्ष्मण आगच्छ भद्रम् ते ऊर्मिलाम् उद्यताम् मया || -७३-|| प्रतीच्छ पाणिम् गृह्णीष्व मा भूत् कालस्य पर्ययः  
Lakshmana aagaccha bhadram tae oormilaam udyataam mayaa |   oprateeccha paanim grihneeshva maa bhoota kaalasya paryayah ||
 "Come on, Lakshmana, safe betides you... say yes to Urmila, the one who is decided by me to be given to you... take her palm into yours... lapse not the time... [1-73-30b, 31a]
When Bharata is the elder of Lakshmana, how Lakshmana is called now... is a lingering doubt. That rule 'the elder brother's marriage is first...' does not apply if the brothers are from co-wives: pitR^ivya putre saapatne para naariiShu teShu vaa | vivaaha daana yajnaadau parivedo na duuShaNam || 'the elderliness among the sons of father's brothers or mothers co-wives, or other sons from other wives, do not count in their marriages, donation ceremonies, of Vedic-rituals... an younger one can be called first on such occasions...'
 तम् एवम् उक्त्वा जनको भरतम् अभ्यभाषत || -७३-३१ || गृहाण पाणिम् माण्डव्याः पाणिना रघुनंदन |
 tam yevam uktvaa janako bharatam ch abhyabhaashata 1 grihaana paanim maandvyaah paaninaa raghunandana||
Janaka having said to Lakshmana that way, he also addressed Bharata, "Oh, Bharata, the delight of Raghu-s, take Maandavi's palm into your palm... [1-73-31b-32a]
 शत्रुघ्नम् अपि धर्माअत्मा अब्रवीत् मिथिलेश्वरः || -७३-३२ || श्रुतकीर्तेः महाबाहो पाणिम् गृह्णीष्व पाणिना |
 satrughnam cha api dharma aatmaa abraveet mithilesvarah  | srutakeertih mahaabaaho paanim grihneeshva paaninaa ||
That honorable king of Mithila even said to Shatrughna, "oh, dexterous Shatrughna, take the palm of Shrutakiirti into yours... [1-73-32b, 33a]
 सर्वे भवन्तः सौंयाः सर्वे सुचरित व्रताः || -७३-३३ || पत्नीभिः सन्तु काकुत्स्था मा भूत् कालस्य पर्ययः
sarve bhavantah saumyaah cha sarve sucharita vrataah  | patneebhih santu kaakusthaa maa bhoot  kaalasya poaryayah ||
 "Oh, Rama, Lakshmana, Bharata, Shatrughna ... you all are tender-hearted, well-behaved and well-intentioned brothers from Kakutstha lineage... without lapse of time take up other ceremonies..." So said Janaka to bridegrooms. [1-73-33b, 34a]
 जनकस्य वचः श्रुत्वा पाणीन् पाणिभिः अस्पृशन् || -७३-३४ || चत्वारः ते चतसॄणाम् वसिष्ठस्य मते स्थिताः
 janakasya vachasrutvaa paanin paanibhih asprisan | chatvaarah tae chatasrunaam vasishtasya mate sthitaah |
All the four bridegrooms are palm-in-palmed with all the four brides, paying heed to Janaka's words, and abiding in Vashishta's orchestration of Vedic hymns and procedures. [1-73-34b, 35a]
The word 'palm-in-palmed' may look odd but it is in fashion with the verb 'arm-in-armed' invented by poet Roger McGhou.
 अग्निम् प्रदक्षिणम् कृत्वा वेदिम् राजानम् एव || -७३-३५ || ऋषीन् चैव महात्मानः सह भार्या रघु उद्वहाः | यथा उक्तेन तथा चक्रुः विवाहम् विधि पूर्वकम् || -७३-३६
Agnim pradakshinam kritvaa vedim raajaanam eva cha | risheen chaiva mahaatmaanah saha bhaaryaa raghu udvahaah | yathaa uktena tathaa chakruh vivaaham vidhipoorvakam
 On performing circumambulations along with their wives around the Ritual-fire, and around the Altar of Fire, and that way, around king Janaka, the awarder of wives, and around sages as well for they conducted the marriages well, those great-souled bridegrooms that have emerged from Raghu's dynasty on performing further deeds of ritual consistent with custom as directed by Vashishta, they are all wed. [1-73-35b, 36]
Firstly Vashishta enkindled the holy fire and offered oblations in it for the wellbeing of Rama and his brothers, say the bridegrooms. Next, another round of enkindling of holy fire took place in which Rama and brothers have offered marriage time oblations. After accepting the palms of brides, they made circumambulations, and then each couple established its own ritual fire and offered oblations into it. Then each couple had oblations of rice-flakes into the fire (Lajja homa), and again performed circumambulations to that Ritual-fire, respectively. Thus, the marriage is not a handshake like one-minute affair, as they all shall be before fire, daylong.
 पुष्पवृष्टिर्महत्यासीदन्तरिक्षात्सुभास्वरा | दिव्यदुन्दुभिनिर्घोषैर्गीतवादित्रनिःस्वनैः || - यद्वा -
पुष्प वृष्टिः महति आसीत् अंतरिक्षात् सु भास्वरा | दिव्य दुन्दुभि निर्घोषैः गीत वादित्र निःस्वनैः || -७३-३७ ||
ननृतुः अप्सरः संघा गन्धर्वाः जगुः कलम् | विवाहे रघु मुख्यानाम् तद् अद्भुतम् अदृश्यत || -७३-३८ ||
pushpavrishtir-mahatyaaseed-antarikshatsu-bhaasvaraa | divya--dundubhir-nirghoshair-geetavaaditra-nisvanaih | yadvaa-pushpavrishtih mahati aaseet antarikshaat tu bhaasvaraa| divya dundubhi nirghoshaih geeta vaaditra nihsvanaih | nanrituh cha apsarah sangha gandharvaah cha jaguh kalam  vivaahe Raghu  mukhyaanaam tad adbhutam adrisyata ||
There occurred rich and highly dazzling flower showers from firmament, and that ambience is filled with the drumbeats of divine drums and with vocal and instrumental music, and promenades of apsara-s danced, and even the gandharva-s sang tunefully, and because it is the marriage of celebrated bridegrooms from Raghu's dynasty, such a charming spectacle is envisioned.. [1-73-37, 38]
 ईदृशे वर्तमाने तु तूर्य उद्घुष्ट निनादिते | त्रिः अग्निम् ते परिक्रंय ऊहुः भार्या महौजसः || -७३-३९
eedrise vartammane tu toorya udghrishta ninaadate | trih agnim parikramya oohuh  bhaarya mahaujasah ||
In this kind of on-going harmonious music of vocal, instrumental and that of dancers, those great resplendent brothers married their wives on circum- ambulating the Ritual-fire fire thrice. [1-73-39]
 अथ उपकार्याम् जग्मुः ते दारा रघुनंदनाः |राजा अपि अनुययौ पश्यन् ऋषि संघः बान्धवः || -७३-४०
Atha upakaaryaaya jagmuhu tae sa daaraa raghunandannaah | raajaa api anuyaayau pasyan sa rishi sanghah sa bhaandhavah ||
Then those descendants of Raghu went to their visiting-palace with their wives, followed by king Dasharatha along with the assemblages of sages, kinfolks, queens and wives included, and Dasharatha feasted his eyes on sons and daughter-in-laws. [1-73-40]
इति वाल्मीकि रामायणे आदि काव्ये बाल काण्डे त्रि सप्ततितमः सर्गः
Iti  vaalmiki raamaayane aadi kaavye  baalakande  trisaptatamih sargah |
Thus, this is the 73rd chapter in Bala Kanda of Valmiki Ramayana, the First Epic poem of India.
 --Suitably edited by N.R.Srinivasan for a discourse.